Adoption Training - Day 3

Today has been the last day of our 3 day training course.

We covered 'Safe Caring' this morning, amongst over things, some of what we covered was in relation to sexual abuse and how this can completely change the way you parent a child.

Innocent things like cuddling in Mum and Dad's bed may not be possible or even appropriate. Bath time may have to be done with 2 parents present, both to avoid putting themselves in a potential situation where the child begins to display sexualised behaviour, and equally important, so that they know that they are not expected to be alone with an adult and begin to learn appropriate behaviour.

Maybe I've explained that all very badly, but I think you'll understand me.

We also covered some of how the various 'Inter Agency' work happens, how the child has a social worker, the birth family have a social worker, the agency that is looking after the child has another social worker who acts as a family finder, and then there's the social worker for the adopter(s). I think there may also have been an independent person involved....

'Bridging and Introductions' covered a typical scenario. Introductions take about 2 weeks and are gradually built up of the adopter(s) visiting the child in the foster home, then taking them out for a day, then taking them to their house, all building up to a 'grab and run' exchange, as anything drawn out is too painful for all involved :-(

Some adoptions may be distance adoptions, so a hotel or self catered apartment may be used in place of the adopter(s) house, and the Local Authority caring for the child fund this.

We met and were able to ask questions of '2 Adopters', one was half of a couple (her husband was at work) and the other was a single lady. It was great to see how adoption had changed their life for the better. Even if it had had it's challenges.

We covered 'Contact' and 'Life Story Books' as the current thinking is that a child should have the opportunity to know about his or her past and know that he or she is adopted. It is all very important to a child's identity.

Some adoptions involve 'Letter Box Contact' once or twice a year. This would be through the Local Authority and addresses are never shared. Letters are read by the LA to ensure all is appropriate.
This may or may not be with the birth parent. It may be with a sibling, or an Aunt or a Grandmother. Or it may not happen at all.

Sometimes adopters are given the chance to meet the birth Mother, if appropriate. Although this would be hard, in years to come when a child asks questions, the adopter may be able to answer those questions. It can also help to 'un-demonise' the birth mother (she may have mental health issues or any number of issues that prevent her from being a mother to her child) and it can also reassure her that a nice, normal, caring family will be looking after her child and bring he/she up.

'Life story books' are important. Think 'Memory Box'. Think photos, letters, anything that as an older child or even adult may want or need to know.

Well, that's all I can think to say.....the 3 days have been informative, enjoyable and emotional at times. And the 5 of us in the group all bonded well, and have exchanged email addresses/phone numbers.

The next stage is to meet our 'Worker' (they tend to not refer to themselves as 'Social Workers') on Thursday next week and home and begin the 'talking' process that will help the Worker form our PAR (Prospective Adopter's Report)....